ph3be♥ what am i looking for??

hmm.... recently.... i found tat... i started to feel stress on doing things that i usually prefer to do so whenever i'm depress.... ><'' u noe hw it feel lik?

very torturing u noe? can u imagine a monkey who lov to eat banana so much & now the monkey cannot takes banana even it is hungry~ T_T

i ♥ singing vry much.... it makes me feel relief & enjoy..... bt suddenly... my thought is changed.... i found that when i perceive it as an interest/hobby..... i can feel the happiness within myself.... but when i turn to... Erm... how to say... a capability?? i mean whn i take it as a capability that i hav & i'm trying my best to improve it, i'm no longer feel the excitement.... :(

my mood is changing....

seriously i dono wat am i trying to look for.... whether i wan to view it as 1 of my hobby which allow me to live in a happier life? or i wan to use it as a tool which may make my dream come true? wat would u choose? how do u make evaluation between these?

tis is a part from sound track tat my fren help me to record & edit it in a home studio for free.... my feelings are complicated... somehow i feel....quite +tive thought.... but sometime i feel the voice is so annoying!!!! ><

"how to improve? where to improve? when can i improve?" those question keep torturing me....

mayb is bcox i cant hav nice & quality sleeping hours.... so everything comes in my mind was so negative.... T_T i dono ..... just not feeling well in everything.... but i noe that... i will b fine soon... will try to take it easy & focus on other things that could help to achieve the other dreamSss in my life....

p/s: phebe is low motivated....